"You'll Never Leave Where You Are Until You Decide Where You'd Rather Be"
Many know that about a month ago, I packed up my life and moved to the great state of Utah. Thia came as not only a shock to many people, but the biggest shock to myself. I have refused for years to live in Utah because Texas is home. Texas is where the house I grew up in is. Texas is where my beautiful little sister is. Texas is where my loving and supporting mother and father are. Where all the doctors are that I sadly but gratefully developed a wonderful relationship with. Texas is where my home ward is and my small but promising YSA ward is. I am so grateful especially recently for all of the church people I have grown to love. What an impact they have made on me. Texas is where I go somewhere and I know atleast one person there. Texas is home.
While Texas is home. There was many reason why I decided to move. One being that I missed all of my family in Utah. My extended, and my sister, brother, and brother in law. I also knew that I want to spiritually progress. While I could do that in Texas, I knew that I could do it much more in Utah, and more then that the Lord wanted me here. I love the church so much and while I know that over the past year or two I haven't made it my top priority, I had come to realize it needed to be more prioritized and so what place better to do that then Utah. So I up and moved. Away I was...in Utah. While it felt like I was on vacation for the first two weeks, I slowly started adjusting...or so I thought. I felt as if I was closer to the church and that I was becoming closer not only to my family up here, but my family at home. Everything was going great....and then it wasn't. Whose fault was this? None other then my own. I started to realize that while I wanted to move to Utah and progress with my personal relationship with my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, that just being in Utah wasnt going to do it. While I had left because I wanted to find more healthier relationships with not only boys but just friends in general wasnt just going to magically appear. I started understanding that I may physically have left, but if I wanted to reach my goals I needed to spiritually be there as well. You see the Lord is ALWAYS wanting to be there for us and he is always willing to help. But if I havnt my heart, mind and spirit open how is he suppose to enter? I recently bought a wood plaque with my life quote for the time being on it. "You'll ever Leave Where You Are Until You Decide Where You'd Rather Be" I have been looking at that every day and it is always on my mind. It speaks to me so very much and I am realizing why. I can physically leave Texas and come to Utah to find myself. I can come here and I can be happier, more spiritual and find out all the many things that I am capable of doing. But just being here isnt going to do it. Deciding that I would rather be all of those things and then doing it will get me there.
I love my Lord and Savior so very much. I love everything he has done for me and everything he will continue to do for me. While I may be confused on some things and uncertain exactly what I should be doing, where I should be living, school, jobs and ecs. I know that as I get to know him better and put my trust in him, he will reveal many beautiful things to me. I know as a person I struggle with seeing the big picture and wanting to know why things are the way they are and why certain things happen the way they do. As I start to realize that as much as a control freak I am, that i have to let stuff be and just life my life the way I should be and when the time is right things will be revealed to me. And as I keep focusing on being in the place(physically and mentally) that I want and the Lord wants, that no matter how bad the day is or how good the day is that I am progressing. Progression is the key to becoming who I want to be and to who I will eventually be.
